Archive for Fibromyalgia Aware
“Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Fibromyalgia Patient” and then some
Below is the abridged list from Fibromyalgia Aware magazine of things you should never say to someone with fibromyalgia, along with some of my own to ad to that list.
1. I think I have that too.
2. My sister-in-law has fibromyalgia and she’s still working. She says it helps to take her mind off the pain.
3. But you look okay.
4. Is that a real disease?
5. Maybe you just need some B vitamins.
6. Do you have any Percocet? I could sure use one right now.
7. Well, we all start to ache when we get older.
8. Can you hold this box for me? I can’t find my keys.
9. Does this mean you won’t live as long?
10. Well, just try to look on the bright side.
… and now some of my own!
11. So does it hurt when I poke here?
12. Are you like dying?
13. I know you can do it.
14. I think you’re just sensitive/a hypochondriac.
15. I wish you wouldn’t talk about that so much.
16. Well it could be worse!
17. Well I think if you can, you should.
18. Why are we taking the elevator again?
19. You’re too young to have this.
20. I’m too young to deal with this.
21. I think you’re doing really well despite this.
Fibromyalgia and the “functional IQ”
Fibromyalgia Aware magazine is one magazine that I think generally does a decent job of talking about issues that are pertinent to people living with FMS and related conditions, rather than merely pathologizing them. Sure, the magazine is filled with hoaky ads for supplements and pillows that probably just don’t work, but the articles answer questions that some of us might not even think to ask, such as the last issue’s article on fibromyalgia and pregnancy.
The September to November 2007 issue of Fibromyalgia Aware magazine, however, included in article on something called “functional IQ”, which I think really exhibits the ableism that people with disabilities have internalized. The test has twelve questions that a person is supposed to answer, as to whether or not he or she is able to do the activity and with how much difficulty or with help. A person’s answers categorize them into low, moderate, and advanced “functional IQ”s–which, by the way, the “i” stands for independence, not intelligence. Heaven forbid we burden someone with helping us do something. The activities include things from dressing and bathing to heavy household chores and hiking and bicycling.
The article goes on to say that for many people with fibromyalgia “the risk for becoming disabled is high”, giving suggestions to the reader on how to “break the disability pathway”, and the author of the article tries to become a mouthpiece for all with fibromyalgia with blanket statements like, “having FM myself, I know…”.
It is so ridiculous to me to determine a person’s worth by their independence. It is okay to need help, and why should we measure things in terms of that?
