I know it has been awhile since I’ve posted. I took my Spring Break, and it was nice to be within at least a small support system back home. I had blood drawn again at my doctor’s insistence, and they haven’t gotten all the results back, but from what they do know, they want to draw more of my blood because something is up. My little sister evidently has been complaining of pain as well, so that makes all four of the biologically related females in my family who are living with similar mysterious but vague symptoms.

It was nice though to go to a doctor who actually asked me questions about what I was experiencing and gave me the space to talk about it. So often recently, as I’ve heard from others, I’ve experienced this ridiculous paternalism from doctors who think that because I have put myself under their care that they have free reign over my body. They are free to poke my sore spots without asking, because I obviously know nothing about my condition.

I talked to a fellow disabled friend about this, as well as my able-bodied significant other. It’s so important to have a support system, to have people who will listen to you and not judge. Indeed I think it is the only way I have kept my sanity during the continued maltreatment from doctors. I’m tired of being just a number, just a file. I want to be seen as a human being, I want to take part in my care and offer the knowledge I have about MY OWN BODY.

I refuse to go back to that doctor, as I refused to go back to the doctor in Boston that made me parade around the room in my underwear, bending in uncomfortable ways, then made me lie on the examination table while she bent my legs some more and came to the conclusion that if I just took a Tylenol I’d be fine.

I’m just so glad I have the people around me to tell all this to.  Maybe one day I’ll  have the energy to change it.