Archive for ableism
Housing Ableism
Okay, I’m about a week late on this post, so I’m really sorry. I know I promised I’d start blogging regularly again, so here goes.
So since the last post, I had an interesting run in with ableism on the housing front. I was planning to move to an apartment community with affordable housing, and the day I was going to turn my application in, I called ahead to see if they could accommodate my disability.
Certain units are rented out as affordable housing and certain units are rented out at the normal price, from what I gather. So I called and asked if they had any first floor apartments because my disability would not allow me to walk up and down flights of stairs several times a day. The woman said that no, the only affordable housing apartment they had was on the second floor, and there are no elevators.
I asked her then if because she couldn’t accommodate me immediately when I needed to move if I could have a second floor apartment temporarily until a first floor unit opened up. She told me that no, if I were to switch apartments that I would have to wait six months, pay another membership fee ($200), repay my pet deposit ($150), and another application fee ($60). I was like, wait… so because you can’t accommodate me, I have to pay more?
I said that I guess I would have to look elsewhere, and not five minutes later I received a call saying that a first floor apartment was opening up.
I hate feeling like I’m being jerked around because I have certain needs. The woman clearly wanted me to suck it up and take the second floor apartment, which I was not going to do. I considered it as a temporary solution, but it certainly would not work long-term.
Has anyone else had bad housing experiences like this?
The Amazing Fibro Aunt
Yesterday, if you hadn’t heard, I finished my first week at a new job. Hopefully that will mean no more privileged, insensitive, ableist comments from bosses, at least for a little while. I’m really enjoying the new job thus far. I’m not just doing data entry all day and I’m gaining trust from my colleagues to undertake projects on the basis of my competence, not my age or the fact that I have not completed my degree.
One of the most difficult things I’m dealing with right now though is trying to raise my partner’s nieces and nephews that I mentioned previously. Don’t get me wrong, it’s immensely rewarding, but at the same time some times I feel like I’m crashing and burning. We had negotiated a bed time of 11:00 for the kids because it is summer, but my new job starts earlier and I have to be up by 6:30. My partner isn’t home in the evening, and I can never get them in bed with the lights out before 11:30. That puts me at 7 hours if I’m lucky. Usually though I don’t get to bed before midnight. Those of you with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue probably know that that amount of sleep is not enough. In fact, it’s nowhere near enough. I’m subsisting on Redline energy drinks to keep me conscious until 11:30, which is making me incredibly nauseous all the time. Thursday, my partner’s day off, instead of keeping with my usual Thursday plans I was so beat that I just lay down in bed when I got home and slept.
Did I mention I’m out of Lyrica again and the insurance has decided that they’re not going to cover it? Because it’s not a “necessity”, so I probably will not be taking it anymore. It’s far too expensive without insurance. I hate insurance companies.
Trying to relate to the kids has been a trip, too. When they get angry, they lash out in ways that I haven’t figured out how to deal with. They say things they don’t mean and react violently (hitting each other, etc). Sometimes I just don’t know how to respond. I know it has a lot to do with things they’ve observed from others, but it’s just so hard sometimes. I have to say, for those of you who have kids, I have a much greater admiration. Raising kids is no easy feat.
Hope everyone is having a great summer.
“Disability Dolls”: A Blessing or a Curse?
I saw an interesting article the other day about dolls specially made to represent people with disabilities. Down Syndrome, cancer, blindness are being represented in some of the new dolls being made, as well as dolls that use wheelchairs. The article gives three different perspectives, one in support of the doll and two against. The support says that children should be able to have dolls that look like them, while the opposition says that it puts too much focus on children’s differences. Personally, much the way I wish dolls representing other races were more readily available (I remember last Christmas finding a non-white doll for my partner’s mixed niece was difficult to say the least), I think that people with disabilities should be represented, even with dolls. I don’t think we should be trying to convince children that they’re no different than “everyone else”. Children don’t fall for that. I think we should be showing children, as cheesy as it sounds, that everyone is different and that we should embrace differences in each other rather than to just pretend they don’t exist. You can find the doll article here.
What do you think? Are dolls representing people with disabilities a good thing or a bad thing?
Ableism at Work: You Want Us to Do WHAT?
The company that I am working for for the summer holds an annual convention, and this year they have decided to do a “philanthropy project” for all of their members at the convention. The company wanted to work with Habitat for Humanity, but Habitat for Humanity’s chapter in the area where the convention is to take place was not able to schedule a build with them as far in advance as my company’s deadline, so my company scrapped the idea. I did some research then and came up with a volunteer organization that builds ramps to make people’s homes wheelchair accessible. I gave the idea to some people I work with who seemed enthusiastic, but then we talked about it in the meeting today, and it seems some people are less enthusiastic about it than others. First of all, the CEO said that it was a “lame” idea, that building ramps sounded like a stupid idea, and that we should do something much more impressive with a more well-known company. He said we could work with United Way or the Red Cross, but that we didn’t want our members to think we’re small-time like this small, locally based nonprofit. We couuld do anything else, as long as it was with a big company with a big name. I found out quickly that this wasn’t about doing good, it was about making a good name for ourselves. I have felt incredibly jaded with the company since, and I am glad that this is just a summer job.
What do you all do or say when a superior says something ableist or otherwise prejudice or offensive in front of you?
Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) to be revamped
The Seattle Times ran a story this morning about the ADA and the Bush administration’s plan to revamp it in response to the many war veterans who have become disabled in Iraq and Afghanistan. The new standards would require that:
• Courts would have to provide a lift or ramp to ensure that people in wheelchairs could get into the witness stand.
• Auditoriums would have to provide a lift or ramp so wheelchair users could “participate fully and equally in graduation exercises and other events.”
• Any sports stadium with a seating capacity of 25,000 or more would have to provide safety and emergency information by posting written messages on scoreboards and video monitors to alert people who are deaf or hard of hearing.
• Light switches in hotel rooms could not be more than 48 inches high. The current maximum is 54 inches.
• A new swimming pool with a perimeter of more than 300 feet would have to provide “at least two accessible means of entry,” such as a gentle sloping ramp or a chair lift.
Disturbingly, however, small businesses, even with new facilities, can opt out of the standards if they use 1% of their revenue to attempt to become more accessible. Personally, I think that the government has an obligation to its disabled citizens and should provide financial assistance to small businesses to help them become accessible. Especially in this time of struggle, I cannot think of a better reason to require accessibility for small businesses. The construction of lifts and ramps would equate jobs and accessible buildings would equate more potential patrons for small businesses. Seems like a no-brainer for the government to me.
Additionally, the new ADA would potentially be more restrictive in some areas. Wheelchairs and scooters would still be allowed everywhere, but the government could limit the use of golf carts and Segways in indoor areas. The types of animals that could be used as service animals would be limited to, “any dog or other common domestic animal individually trained to do work or perform tasks”.
Thoughts?
Wal-Mart: We’re rolling back business ethics
If you haven’t heard, Wal-mart has been sued for failing to accommodate and firing a pharmacy worker who became disabled after being shot in a robbery. The woman was still able to do her job but used a cane and required moderate accommodations. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission sued Wal-mart, who is expected to settle out of court for $250,000 in damages and restructure their policies. You can read more on this story here.
Honestly, it’s about time someone went after Wal-mart and their discriminatory practices and horrible business ethics. Evidently this is not the first case this year either. Wal-mart lost another $300,000 earlier this year for another case involving the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). It seems it would cost them less to employ better business practices rather than continue to be sued for large sums of money for discrimination. This is absolutely disgusting.
Blogging Against Disablism: The Right Not to Be All Right
“You need to lighten up…”
Oh, how I dread hearing these words. No, I don’t want to watch a romantic comedy, and yes, I do take myself very seriously. It’s the end of the year and I have more work than I can handle, and additional stressors have been added to the mix. I have run out of my Lyrica and am far away from my prescribing doctor, so I don’t even have that to take the edge off and I am TIRED. I need some actual rest. I am trying to deal with additional problems that are way out of my hands, and I’m then told that I need to lighten up. To take myself less seriously. I have not until this week considered the implications of these words.
It was through talking to a fellow disabled friend today that I began to look at things differently. People are right, I am cranky right now. I am subject to spells of crying, insecurity, self-deprecation, complaining, moodiness, apathy, anger, frustration, sadness, self-righteousness, hopelessness, and that’s just before lunchtime. And indeed I am sorry to those who bear the brunt of some of my bad moods. Still, I have realized that the comment that I need to lighten up was highly problematic on a number of levels.
First, it does not acknowledge my illness. I don’t think many would argue that when any of us are sleep-deprived, stressed, or in pain, we are likely to not be in the loveliest of moods. Chronically ill folks often deal with all three of these at once. To expect us to always be in a good mood or to feel like laughing and joking and having a good time is to not acknowledge our illnesses, to not understand that we are, in fact, tired and hurting and we have wants and needs when we don’t feel well, just like everyone else.
Second of all, it draws upon an issue many of us with disabilities have: the expectation of “normality”. It’s something I’ve talked about when dealing with Disability Services here (oh, and how that office could have its own blog post about the rampant ableism/disablism that exists, but don’t even get me started on that!); the expectation that things won’t come up at the most inconvenient time with our disabilities. Let me tell you though, flareups and fatigue are my normality.
I suggest then that my disability is not the problem, that perhaps it’s some others’ attitudes and expectations that are the problem. We have a right to not always be all right. We have a right to hurt and to cry and to be cranky sometimes and to be treated with neither apathy nor pity, but with understanding and patience. Accessibility is not and should not be just about ramps and elevators (though these things are certainly a lifesaver for me personally), but it should also be about addressing mental needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs.
Happy Blog Against Disablism Day.
Some Spoken Word…
“What’s wrong with you?” she says smirking
stoic staring
watching my broken body
slowly climbing eight cement steps
my own personal mountain
letting the heavy wooden door
slam in my face–
at my refusal to answer
“You’re too young to use a cane” he says
unfamiliar, uninvited
looking me up and down
as if assessing the damage
And I’m tired
of inaccessible buildings
nonworking elevators
and walking to
the furthest side of the building
to find the ramp.
But mostly I am tired
of you.
Of your adolescent curiosity
as you try to place me into categories
that don’t fit
Of not using the tools I need
because I can’t deal with
one more rude question
one more rude question
one more fucking rude question
posed by
you, southern sticky sweet
nice girl
concerned girl
cultured girl
charity-lovin’ débutante
but hey, your father’s brother’s mother’s
second cousin twice removed has a neighbor
who has one of those “cripple” kids
so you must really get it
But before you give me one more
tokenizing, stigmatizing
self-satisfying query
please
mind your own
mind your own
mind your own
fucking
business.
__
We did a spoken word workshop for my college poetry class. Spoken word is certainly not my forte in the world of poetry. For me, this was the result. Just thought I would share for those who are tired of explaining. Happy Monday.
Last thoughts on a school year
As I am finishing up my second year of college and preparing to transfer, I am left with a lot of mixed feelings. This last year and a half has been the most difficult for me health-wise as I’ve observed the deteriorating of muscles and tendons, of my mental clarity, and of my general sense of wellbeing. People ask me frequently what it’s like to be in pain all the time, and honestly it still baffles me. It baffles me that though I have gotten used to feeling this way, physically, I’m still not used to all the repercussions.
I have virtually lost my ability to do some of the things I was once able to do, such as climbing stairs by myself. In the event that I have to climb up or down more than two or three, I have to have someone to lean on, to balance most of my weight on, because the muscles in my legs get tight and spasm. As many who are disabled probably know by now, having to rely on others puts a person in a very vulnerable position. For me, a former significant other would hold this over my head, would shame me, would complain about how much of a burden my disability was on her.
This idea of the burdensome disabled person is not unique to relationships I’ve had, however. It’s something I have, if you’ve read my posted e-mail from disability services, felt from my school as well. It seems to be a common trend among students to be othered by their schools’ disability services offices, to be treated as if the students’ needs for accommodations are unreasonable or unwarranted or untrue or giving some sort of unfair advantage to the disabled student. Indeed my school’s inability to accommodate me, or to listen to my grievances when I’m not being accommodated, is one of the main reasons why I’m leaving–well, and then there’s the blatant classism, but that’s a story for a different post perhaps.
Any school, however, that that has demonstrated to me that it is going to allow their administrative officials say things that are insensitive and disrespectful to ability, class, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, belief, country of origin, or any other way a person identifies or is marked without repercussions is surely not getting my money next year. I’ll take my butt somewhere else, thanks!
